Mother's Day: (and)

Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of us for a lot of reasons.

Maybe it’s an absent or dead mother. A misunderstood and personal decision to remain child-less. Infertility. Struggling to conceive. The loss of a spouse or partner to honor on Mother’s Day. A cancer diagnosis stealing your chance to watch your babies grow up. The death of a child anywhere from pregnancy to old age. Trauma from a mother figure. Even social media causing unrealistic expectations of what motherhood, family life, and being appreciated looks like.

The days leading up to today were probably also less than ideal being constantly bombarded with Mother’s Day messages.

I see you, friend. If Mother’s Day is hard for you, I raise this cup of (decaf) coffee and say, “Cheers, love.”

Hear this: You don’t have to say anything, buy anything, post anything, or do anything unless it serves you. Your experience won’t look like anyone else’s version of Mother’s Day, and it likely won’t look like the Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook highlight real either. That’s okay.

Today might be more about the word 'and'.

Today I am shattered by Norah's death and by the tiny baby August that should be in my arms right now. I'm sad that Lora's 'best friend' is a puppy, not a sibling. I'm frustrated that there's still not another baby on the way. I'm broken by the fact that Lora only knows my mom through pictures. I'm angry that so much of my motherhood has been defined by death.

AND...

I'm celebrating and honoring my version of motherhood. I'm joyfully embracing our wild earthside girl. I'm hanging on every word of her exploding imagination and holding her hand as she falls asleep. I'm laughing at toots and finding magic in the mundane. I'm honoring this body I've been given, praising God for each beat of my heart and every breath in my lungs.

Being shattered by the darkest parts of this life and overflowing with gratitude for the life you've been given are not mutually exclusive.

I pray that this day passes you gently by, that the Holy Spirit provide you with moments of rest and that your full experience and whole self may be seen and lifted up.

Honoring us all today.

XOXO