Letters to Norah // 14 months
Hello, Norah.
I woke up this morning wondering if there’s springtime in heaven; wondering if you’re toddling around, feeling the new grass between your curious fingers and getting mud in between every tiny toe. Is your grandma patiently teaching you the names of the chorus of little birds who welcome this new season? I can see her now, walking slowly alongside you, hand in hand, reveling in your innocent fascination with this new and growing world. Your grandma loves nature as if it’s a part of her, so I can only imagine the joy it brings her to see you discover how plants grow, how good the sun feels after winter, and how something as small as a rock can be so much fun. Are you running around — your wild heart free to explore and play, your joyful laughter filling the crisp, fresh air? After all the playing has worn you out, do you lie down on the grass and take a nap in the heat of the sun?
As I listen to the spring rain wash away the remnants of winter, I think about how the chaos of the last two years is just beginning to slow down. Not that life is less busy, in fact, quite the opposite is true. Instead of doctor’s visits or funeral arrangements, our schedules are beginning to fill up with, well, life.
And it's good.
In April, because of you, we made a concerted effort to be more intentional with our time and our decisions — checking in on everything from faith to health to habits to friendships and seeing how we can take the next best step in every area. We started to dedicate more time to honoring your story, Norah, which has been incredibly fulfilling; I can’t wait to see where you and God take us next.
Also in April you and your Grandma inspired your Grandpa to flex his creative muscles and not only write a story but share it live in front of a crowd as part of the New London Story Show. Maybe you can help convince him to continue writing and sharing our story in that way; it was incredible to watch him so completely in his element.
Now we head into May and the beginning of your Daddy’s 2018 season of drag racing. We’re both so eager to get back to the track, back to our race family, back to some fun in the MN summer sun. We know you’ll be cheering extra loud for your daddy up there (your daddy + loud noises? Your two favorite things!)
May also happens to be the month of Mother’s Day and, love, this day is just all kinds of broken and beautiful, especially this year. Not only am I grieving you, my sweet girl who made me a mother, but I’m also mourning the loss of my own mother.
It'll be a whole thing and I don’t know exactly what that day will bring or how I will handle it.
What I do know is that I’m beyond grateful to have had your Grandma as my mom and I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for being yours.
Because of you, because of your grandma, because of God we continue on.
Love you forever.
XOXO
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
– Hebrews 12: 1-2
