Sometimes people think that a child born after loss helps to ease the pain, being a life to celebrate and carry forward. But our love and gratitude for the life of Lora stands side-by-side with the love and longing we carry for you. This is no different than any other family, really; having a second child doesn’t mean you love your first child any less – it simply means that your heart expands to hold both. That’s true for loss families as well, it just looks a little different. 

In celebration of Norah’s second birthday we’re selling shirts today through the end of March to raise money for Love, Norah – an initiative started by our doula (Jen Koenig of Sacred Space Birth Services) in honor of Norah to provide doula birth support to families in times of need — medical difficulty, anticipated loss, etc.

Some people say two is terrible. Knowing you, I think two will be incredible. Norah, we are so proud of all you’ve done. Happy birthday, baby girl. We love you to the moon and back.

Pregnancy, birth, and parenting after loss are uniquely complex experiences — not just for us, but also for the friends and family supporting us. It’s for this reason that Lane and I wrote a letter to our friends and family laying out what to expect around Lora’s birthday and the weeks following. Our goal for the letter was to empower our friends and family to support us in a way that honors Norah, Mom, and our story. I can’t say enough how much it helped in those fresh first days.

One year ago you left this earth to go take care of your granddaughter. You had excitedly said that you get to hold Norah first, and mama, I hope you’re getting constant snuggle time.

While I was pregnant with Lora, one of my biggest fears was that your presence would begin to fade once she was born. What I’m finding is exactly the opposite; your sister’s arrival has been breathing new life into our memories of those precious days spent with you.